My First Valentine

2.14.13

Valentine's Day always turns people's thoughts to hearts, flowers, candies and love.

We remember past heartbreaks.  We contemplate future loves.  We share our hearts with significant others.

This Valentine's Day, my mind pulled up and reminded me of my first love.

She was beautiful.  She took my breath away.  When I first laid eyes on her, I knew love and knew I would always do whatever I could to take care of her and protect her.

I wanted to hold her.  "She's heavy," said my mom.

"That's okay," I said, "I'm strong!"  I held out my arms and held my sweet baby sister in my arms.

I loved climbing into her crib to sleep next to her.  I'd turn on my little transister radio so we could fall asleep to music together.  When she would wake up crying in the night, I'd sing to her until she calmed down.  I was so proud when I was old enough to go to school and she and my mom would walk me there.  She didn't talk right away because I was always talking for her.  I loved "translating" for her and helping mom figure out what she needed.  She's always been my best friend.  We always got along great...unless one of us had a friend over...then we'd fight like cats and dogs.  It wasn't until I was an adult that I realized it was out of jealousy...I was afraid to lose her.

We built forts, played outside, played Barbies, made "haunted houses" to try and scare each other, played dumb games on long car trips to keep each other entertained, told dumb jokes to make each other laugh, sang stupid songs just because they were that silly, stayed up all night star-gazing and talking about anything and everything, shared clothes, for many years shared a bed then a bedroom, got in trouble together...

When we got into junior high and high school, we started going different directions.  We began having different interests.  We had different friends.  I still loved her so very much, but, I was distracted from her by school, church, crushes, life.

And yet, she's been there for me.  Through all the various relationships, through the heartaches, through the exciting times, through the frustrations.  She's never told me what I should do.  She always gave her opinions on things, but always trusted me to follow my heart and do what was right.

She inspires me to be the best I can be.  She motivates me to stand up, advocate, speak up for myself.  She prompts me to do the same for those that can't.  She is strong and doesn't take any nonsense and doesn't give any.  She means what she says.  She says what she sees.  She is my heart.  She is my love.  She is my sister and my best friend for all time.

I'm fiercely proud of her and would move mountains to help her.  I will fight for her.  I will stand beside her.  I'll have her back as surely as I know she has mine.  There's no one else I would rather have on my side.  I truly count it a privilege to have her in my life.

She always has been and always will be my first Valentine.