Becoming Ancestors our Descendants will be Proud of

 4/2/22 Response to 2022 Academy Awards events

Everyone has an opinion.

Everyone has an opinion about the events that transpired at the 2022 Academy Awards. 

Everyone has an opinion on what should/should not have happened, actions that should/should not have transpired, things that could/could not have been said that would have led to different outcomes.

And while those opinions are completely valid, I think we are completely missing the conversation that should be taking place. Because all of those actions are the symptoms of a much larger malady.

“Mental Health” is more than the “big” issues that we are slowly starting to address (i.e. depression, suicide, bipolar, psychotic breaks, etc.).These are incredibly important, but they are only a small part of the entire topic that we need to do better at.

When we have a little tickle in our throat, or a slight headache because of the weather changing, or aches in our joints also due to weather change, we know to drink more water, maybe take some pain medication, massage areas of hurting, or have some variation of RICE treatment. And when warranted we ask for help from medical professionals. We know what physical self-care looks like. We actively work to keep our physical health at its optimum level.

But we don’t do the same with our mental health. 

Mental health includes the days that we’re feeling a little more prickly than normal. It includes the times when we’re irritable or a little disappointed about not finding the type of ice cream we were craving. It includes the times we are just not feeling up to helping our children make whatever project they’ve put off until the night before it’s due. 

And instead of practicing mental self-care, we think, “I just need to push through.” or  “What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just do what needs to be done?” or “Life just sucks right now.”

And eventually, all of those “little” mental self-care lapses build up and build up and build up until there is an explosive response to something. It leads us to react in a manner that we wish we could have done differently.

The more we push down all of our mental anguish and trauma (even “just” the little ones), the more it builds up and adds to our mental UN-healthiness. Eventually, when it reaches critical mass, it can explode with all sorts of unintended consequences.

I’m not saying we excuse anyone’s actions. But understanding more of what brought them there, the more we can make adjustments and do something different the next time there is a similar occurrence. And the only way we can do that is if we change the conversations we are having. 

Instead of just, “I can’t believe he did such-and-such” or “He should have done something differently,” or even “I wouldn’t have done any such thing,” we need to use the event as a springboard to talk about what we WILL do when we are in a similar situation. We need to be willing to look at our own trauma and state of mental being and be able to say, “I'm getting overwhelmed. I can’t deal with this right now. I don’t agree with what is happening and I’m too angry to be rational right now.” 

In this moment, we get to choose who we want to be going forward. We have the opportunity to do more to MAKE things better. And while we have our individual moral compasses and codes, we are still learning, we are still human. We have the opportunity to practice grace and compassion. We have the opportunity to lift up someone who needs care of their mental health as much as we do. Who do we want to be tomorrow or the next day?

It is our chance to restore balance and harmony and become ancestors our descendants will be proud of.