Another Year Older

A Brief History of Nearly Everything...that's happened in GinaMarie's life this past year

Last year, I turned 40.  It was a momentous occasion kicking off an interesting year.

My husband, Kevin, and my best friend, Sara, organized an amazing surprise party for me.  I've never had one before and this one was amazing.  It was such an honor to be honored by such wonderful family and friends.

I finished my first ever "Tough Mudder" (12 miles, 26 obstacles) with my best friend/sister Bobbie Byars & Reuban Stoller.

I directed Beauty & the Beast for FYT.

I went to the Spring "Drumming into the Seasons".

I helped facilitate a women's circle.

I had lunch with mom for Mother's Day.

I taught drama, swing dance, & P.E. at the Flagstaff Montessori Middle School.

I helped with the Catwalk for Cancer Care fundraising fashion show in Sedona.

I did a Muddy Princess run with Jennifer Vargas & Megan Becker.

I took my dad to breakfast for Father's Day.

I participated in an all night Summer Solstice drumming.

As I was getting ready to go to it, I had Kevin tell me he thought we should go our separate ways.

I helped set up & break down the Made in the Shade Beer Tasting Festival.

I was cast as Cat in the Hat in FYT's Seussical the Musical.

1 hour before final dress rehearsal for Seussical the Musical, I got a text message from Kevin telling me that he was moving out.

I found a great apartment with a friend and moved in with the help of some wonderful people.

I completed the Imogene Pass Run (or trudge rather briskly...in my case).

I did a week-long road trip through Colorado & Northern New Mexico and discovered I *really* love driving 65 mph with all of my windows down and music blaring, occasionally, and just the sound of the wind at other times.  And that I really like solitary road trips.  I still need to write up, in a coherant manner, the interesting coincidences, serendipitous happenings, and self-realizations that occured on that trip.

I coordinated an amazing Fantastic Voyage at FMC.

I helped get educational lecture series sponsored by Northern Arizona Healthcare going in 3 communities.

I spent many hours with my amazing friend and wonderful mentor, Dr. Joann W. Kealiinohomoku.

I went to the Autumnal Drumming.

I assistant directed FYT's Aladdin, making an AWESOME CAVE OF WONDERS with Magic Molly!

I had one of my neices over for a sleep over. Much fun was had!

I was cast in Lost in the Tropics.

I started playing the ukulele and was able to buy an amazing one from Chase Coleman.

I started dating my roommate.  We started a tradition of going to breakfast at the Crown Railroad Diner.  I discovered that I was falling in love with him.

I coordinated the Arty Bras Project with the help of the Cancer Centers of Northern Arizona and Vora Financial Services.

I paid off my car.

I went to a really fun Halloween party hosted by Megan Becker.

I got shingles.

My dad had a massive stroke and was in the hospital for 3 days.

I was with him when he died.

I helped plan & coordinate his memorial services (3 of them...)

I went to Thanksgiving at my aunty's house in Phoenix, my in-laws in Mesa, another aunty's in Anthem. (Yes, all on the same day!)

I went to a birthday party for a lady who turned 100 years old.

I met the 92-year-old mayor of Bisbee.

I helped look after my brother's children.

I got information on getting my children's story (Chanticleer, the Christmas Moose) published.

I got hired by SunSounds of Arizona.

I resigned my position as Community Liaison with NAH.

I went to an awesomely fun (and much needed) chili & carols Christmas party hosted by the Ryans.

I took my mom to one of the Children's Chorale Christmas concerts.

I attended midnight mass on Christmas Eve with a neighbor (not purposely, but we both happened to be walking to it separately and started talking while we were walking and attended together).

I went to Maryland for 5 days with Scott & Isaac and met some of their family.

I got pink-eye for the first time ever on the flight back to Arizona.

I got cast in another show with Canyon Moon Theater (Gun-Shy, opening on January 24th in Village of Oak Creek).

I started my new job as Station Manager of the Flagstaff branch of SunSounds.

I turned 41.

Holiday reflections

Isaac has a journal writing assignment where he has to write for 15 minutes.  I told him that when he is here, I will do the writing assignment at the same time.  Tonight's writing prompt was "write about your favorite part of your holiday break from the perspective of your front door".  Here's what I wrote.

Holidays are here again.  Once again, I have a new family living on one side of me.  

This year, this family has actually taken time to "deck the halls"...so to speak...since I don't really have a hall on either side of me.  It has been many years since I've been decked for the holidays.  

Lights twinkle, reflecting off the lightly tinkling chimes, aurifying the tones into peals of church bells.  Lights radiate in the snow, making the nuthatches and house sparrows glow with angelic light, transforming them from ordinary birds into tiny feathered cherubs of peace and joy. Lights sparkle, shining on the Christmas wreath hanging from the door hanger.

Laughter fills the air as snow fills the courtyard, making it a truly magical winter wonderland.  Carols drift through the falling stars. "Glory to god in the highest. And on Earth, peace, goodwill towards men..." 

And in my residence, love, joy, laughter, and fullness of hearts.  

People with Disabilities

People with Disabilities

I was recently asked what my background of working with people with disabilities.  I had an answer and shared various experiences.  Upon further reflection, though, I better understand my philosophy of "working with people with disabilities".

1. People are people.
2. People want connection to others.
3. Everyone has varying degrees of abilities and disabilities.  Some of the disabilities are federally recognized as needing special accommodations and some are ones that we have to figure out on our own.

If I take time to truly connect with another, I can learn to understand the other person.  I can learn how the other person accommodates their own disabilities.  I can share my own special needs. I can make a connection with another.  I can be a person.  I can be me.

Bobby Lee Byars, Jr. (8/24/1950 - 11/8/2012)

My Arizona Dad passed away on November 8, 2012.  This is the obituary that I had the honor to write for the newspaper notice. Thank you, Mom, Rae, Bobbie, & David for your input and edits. -gmh

Bobby Lee Byars, Jr., was born on August 24, 1950 in Wickenburg Arizona. He lived 22,723 days full of adventure. There wasn't much he didn't do.  He was a cowboy, paratrooper, lumberjack, construction worker, musician, truck driver, short order cook, warehouse worker, ferrier, pigeon wrangler, sawmill worker, exercise jockey/horse trainer, bull rider, forklift operator, pool shark, fisherman, taxi driver, actor, comedian, tour bus driver, landscaper, politician, community minister, humanitarian, artist, theologian, court clerk, coach, counselor,  adventurer, encourager, real estate salesman, visionary, believer, chaplain, story teller, shuttle driver, student of everything that he found interesting, gardener, scholar of life, deputy registrar, poll worker, philosopher, singer-song writer, child of God, dad, husband, grandpa, brother, son, and friend.

He was generous and compassionate.  Bobby loved people.  He never met a stranger and he never forgot a friend.  His heart was big enough to welcome anyone, and accept everyone. He didn't have much, because he didn't need much.  When he was given anything, he would promptly find someone who needed it more.  He was truly a public servant and genuinely wanted people to be happy. He inspired others to follow their passion and live life to the fullest. He loved his family, especially his grandchildren.

This amazing man will be missed by his Dad, Step-dad, Wife, 3 Brothers, 4 Children, 5 Grandchildren, Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Nieces, Nephews and 6 billion wonderful friends.

Memorial Services are as follows:
Viewing:                  
Saturday: 5-7pm. at Lozano's Flagstaff Mortuary (4th St),
Sunday: 1-2pm. at Lamb of God Bible Church 2615 E7th. Ave

Funeral service:        
Sunday 2pm. at Lamb of God Bible Church

Graveside service:    
Monday 1pm. (with military honors) at Citizens' Cemetery.

*Donations to help cover costs incurred from his passing can be made to Arizona State Credit Union with "Bobby Byars" in the memo line.

JOURNAL: Colorado Trip, 2012

Ongoing journal of my first ever solo road trip. -gmh


Colorado Trip, 2012
9/7/12:
Music today: Red Elvises CD (BellyDance) & radio station (KRTZ, I think)

I have fallen in love with road trips. I love, love, LOVE solo road trips. Will have to see if there's any person that I could handle a road trip with...or that can handle one with me!

Left Flagstaff at 7:30a.m.
At the Camp Townsend-Winona intersection with 89A, I realized that I could drive with my windows down, my music cranked up, and singing as loud as possible.

Stopped at 4 corners. Had never been there. Got some good pictures.

Got to Telluride around 3:30p. (CO time). Trip took 7 hours with various stops.
Took a little walk by the creek. Put my feet in the water. Went with some of the others up to Mountain Village.

Spaghetti dinner (yum). Attached scarves to pack. Talked with Hailee. Went to bed.

Excellent day.

9.8.12
IMOGENE PASS RUN!!

Most interesting thing that happened on the run: saw a rock fall on the Telluride side of the pass.

Got some good pictures (including a marmot!).

Got a ride the last mile up the pass from Jerry (a retired Navy pilot).

Another excellent day. (but trying to decide if I *really* want to do the AZ Trail in a couple of years.

Asleep by 10:15p.m.

9.9.12
Music today: Big Bad VooDoo Daddy CD (listened to Mambo Swing at least 37 times...got interesting scene & story that this song would be good for)

Woke up at 6:15a.m. because I had to pee. Excellent sleeping. Dreams swirling.
Sent birthday text to Kevin.

Decided to get up and go to the other condo & have coffee & watch the sun rise.

Hung out. Took time getting ready to leave. Had lunch in Telluride. Left there about 12:10p.m.

 Beautiful drive through Ouray & Silverton. Colors are already changing there.
Got to Pagosa Springs. Hung out with Kristeen & her deer. We went to the "Healing Waters" hot springs. Ahhh!!

Deciding how I'm spending the rest of the days here. Am I going camping or am I going to use Pagosa as jumping off point to go explore? Haven't decided yet.

Will probably be asleep before 10p.m. tonight. Well, not until 11p.m. local time. The tablet still has my home time and it currently says 9:59 pm, but here in CO it's 10:59 pm! OK. No wonder I'm so tired!

Realization that I came to while talking with Kristeen: I'm sad but my feelings are not hurt. That's different from other "break-ups". I'm very solidly me and very complete as me, so it's not something that I'm taking perzonally. But. I am sad.


9.10.12
Music Today: Nate Stone CD (Love & Tragedy) Excellent music for the overcast drive up and over Wolf Creek Pass. Listened to song #13 many, many, many times. Entire CD was incredibly cathartic, but, that last song...wow.

Started the morning by dressing up in my Luche Libre costume ("Esmerelda McGillacuddy") and went to Kristeen's class (a group of 2nd graders). Played "Ripped Pants" and "True Blue Bill" for them. They all wanted me to take my mask off! Funny...the 1st graders didn't even think of that!

Went downtown, had coffee & breakfast sandwich along the river.

Stopped at all the "scenic views" I passed. Including Lobos Lookout on top of the Continental Divide. Beautiful!!!

Interesting things about the day:
Cemetaries were calling me. I did a sudden turn into a cemetary in Shaw County (will have to re-remember the name). There were only two headstones there, I picked up a rock & put it on the headstones. As I started to drive out, I saw a hawk sitting on a pole. I stopped, took a picture. Then, got out & just watched it. Nate Stone's <song that I can't remember right this second> was playing (again...I'd already listened to it about 5 times before then!). Another hawk came up and they both started flying around. I think they were Harris hawks. They flew around together, I watched them, listened to the music & cried. Then, I kept seeing them (and others...probably 4 total). They were sitting on the right side of the road (on the poles). So, the next road that came along on the right, I took it. I was wondering why. I went around a corner, and there was another cemetary. I got out, walked around it for at least 40 minutes. Then, back in the car.

At Villa Grove, I decided to see if I could find Flagstaff Mountain and thought that I could visit Bonanza, too. Found Bonanza. Weird place. It was along an area with a bunch of other "ghost town" mining townsites (Keber, Eschequer, ...) I saw a sign for the Eschequer cemetary. I had already passed it, so didn't stop at it. But, decided I should stop at the Bonanza Cemetary (that I had passed when first going through Bonanza). I turned up a little road. It was tiny and enclosed with a chainlink fence. I went in. The first ones I saw were for two children (aged 1 & 2). Passed in the late 1800s. Put a rock by the crosses. Then, felt drawn to look at the other gravesites (about 20 total). Put rocks or pinecones or sticks on them as I felt led to. "Ashley" family buried there (all died in 1800s early 1900s).

Then, left there. Decided to explore another turn off to see if there was a good camping area. Found signs to Flagstaff Mountain! Told Colorado that it had me moving rocks & visiting cemetaries and that it could give me a great camping spot. I was driving on this tiny road. Got to a point that it looked a little too scary for my little car. Stopped, got out, looked at the road ahead and then turned to go back to the car. HH! There was a campsite right behind me! Complete with a fire ring & a little bit of firewood. As the sun was getting ready to set, I decided to camp there. Didn't see ANYONE all night. Didn't HEAR anyone all night (except for some jets high overhead). Did hear coyotes all night.

It was the first time I've ever camped ALL ALONE. It was a little scary. I woke up in 2 hour increments. At 2a.m., my heart started racing for no reason at all. I had to consciously NOT THINK of all the scary stories I could ever imagine! At 4 a.m. I opened my tent flap & watched the moon shine through the aspens & watched the stars. It really was a beautiful area. An amazing aspen grove.

Only bad part of the experience was the fact that no one really knew where I was. I didn't realize I was going to be so off the grid & didn't have ANY coverage once I left the main road. Bad. So against what I tell everyone & try and do. But. Glad it all worked out. Better planning next time! I definitely want to visit this area again.

Reflections:
"Love you give will be returned"
So, what love have I given Kevin?
Acceptance of who he is. Didn't ask him to change to fit my idea of what he should be. Loved who he is. Loved who he could be. Loved his love of life.
Loved his laughter.
Loved his caring.
Unconditional...didn't want him to be someone else.
Complete acceptence and would have done anything for him.

To do list for today (9.10.12)

Be powerful. Be brilliant. Be gorgeous. Be talented. Be me.

Running Ruminations: Warrior Reflections

What is a warrior?  We have the image of a defender protecting the innocent in righteous anger.  *I* say this is not the true image of a true warrior.  A true warrior is one who is dispassionately compassionate.

Aren't those two words at odds with each other?  To some extent, yes.  But, that's a part of what makes the warrior.  She is able to hold two opposing concepts in her head and let them be.  So, dispassionately compassionate.  What does that mean?

Compassion is defined as, "The deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it."  (http://www.thefreedictionary.com/compassion)

Dispassion is defined as, "Freedom from passion, bias, or emotion. Objective." (http://www.thefreedictionary.com/dispassion)

So being dispassionately compassionate means that she will show compassion in a way that is not emotionally charged.

That's not saying that there will be no emotion.  Because a warrior who is dispassionately compassionate can actually share the emotions of everyone around her.  And that's where the dispassion comes in.  She has to be able to differentiate between which is hers and what belongs to another.  Once she figures that out, she can then figure out if she is going to share the emotion with the person it belongs to or let it be.

It is a path that is full of oxymoronical paradoxes, but completely worth the journey.  *NOT* that the end result is worth it, but the JOURNEY.  But, that's a topic for another day.