Walking the Spiral Path

Walking the Spiral Path:

This is just a sharing of some of the ponderings I’ve been having while walking & meditating on my own spiral. 

If I do not walk the spiral, the spiral will walk me. 

That’s not saying there shouldn’t be time of stillness & introspection.  That’s just saying to remember to MOVE and follow where I am supposed to go. 

As I breathe along the spiral path, I will become more aware of where I am.  I will be able to do what needs to be done.  I will be able to move where I need to go.  I may have to run across the spiral to chase a piece of paper, but I can always come back to the turning.  I may decide to “cut trail” and cut across the spiral, but I will get to where I’m going and I can always come back to the meditation. 

I can pick up the lessons I need to learn—and am able to learn—on this pass.  If I can’t take them with me at this point in time, they’ll be there the next time I come this way. 

In the same regard, if I find myself along a similar point in the spiral, I need to assess and figure out what it was that I didn’t learn the first time.  I have the ability to change…or not.  It’s up to me.  But, if I choose to not change (when I probably should) the spiral will keep returning me until I do.

I am choosing to walk the spiral.   

What do I want?

An acquaintance asked what I wanted in relation to a job.  It's not all about the job, but it made me reflect and here's what I replied.

So.  What am I looking for?  I want to make a difference.  I want to help contribute to the health, happiness, and well-being of my community.  I want to know that I am helping others reach their full potential.  I want to continue learning.  I want to help others learn to be better stewards of our world.  I want to help others learn to communicate better.  I want to be.  Ha.  I know that's not necessarily what you meant, but, that's where my brain went and I decided to share!

As far as a "job" and salary requirements...  I know that I cannot progress very far with the degree that I currently have.  I'm *mostly* okay with that.  It's something I need to continue to assess and figure out what I am going to do!  I don't want to get a degree just to say, "OK, I have this, now give me a promotion, " even if I may end up having to do that someday soon!  If I can get a job where I could actually support myself and my family, I'd be content with that.  Right now, even low 30s would be more than what I currently make!   

I like challenging jobs in which I can help problem solve or that take some level of creativity.  I would love a job that pushes me to grow but recognizes my talents and the fact that I actually have a brain!  I enjoy interacting with others and helping accomplish goals, plan events, and see projects through to completion.   

I'm a good writer and would love to be able to expand my capabilities in that area.  I'm not as good of a technical writer, but I know that I could learn more and become better.  I'm a fairly good editor and actually like the editing process.

I like flexibility because I volunteer with several organizations and want to be able to continue my work with them.  That goes back to my desire to continue actively contributing to my community.  (However, I don't particularly want to go into politics!)   

I don't know that it will ever help in a job situation, but my personal goal over the next 10 years is to learn as much as I can about physics & evolutionary biology.  Again, I don't see how it will help any career moves, but,  those are things I want to learn.  

Slightly meandering, but...there you have it!  The complex pondering of the mind that makes up my reality!

NAU: Director-Alumni Relations/Community Outreach Cover Letter

Note:  I applied for a job at Northern Arizona University (Director-Alumni Relations/Community Outreach).  This is the cover letter that I included with my resume & application.  I was turned down, but, I personally really like the letter, so decided to post it here! I'm sort of sad that I didn't conclude with "...I look forward to working with the 'Harvard of Flagstaff'."  -gmh

 

Northern Arizona University

Job Title: Director-Alumni Relations & Community Outreach

Job 10#: 559060

Location: Alumni Relations

March 17,2012

To Whom It May Concern;

 

As a native Flagstaffian with Arizona roots that go back several generations, and as a

first generation NAU Alumna, I have seen Flagstaff and Northern Arizona University

grow from small enclaves with lofty goals to communities with worldwide vision and

global compassion. Our communities have embraced opportunities to be international

leaders and empathetic voices of future development.

I understand the vital role this position plays in the overall success of Northern Arizona

University. The Office of Alumni Relations and Community Outreach provides a

platform for continued growth and support between the communities of NAU and

Flagstaff. It offers an exciting opportunity to participate in the prominence and renown

of NAU and is a thrilling chance to share the marvelous community that is Flagstaff with

the rest of the world. I would love the opportunity to take on this challenge.

Flagstaff is a growing part of a global community. Northern Arizona University stands at

the leading edge of this growth. I look forward to being an active member of this

phenomenal team. 

Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,

GinaMarie Harris

Coming Out--Atheist Christian

12/22/11—Atheist Christian

I am a christian by upbringing, atheist by choice.

I was one of the militant religious who believed that it was my duty to make sure the entire world heard the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  For the most part, I did it out of truly wanting to help people.  I really believed that God would help people and change their lives.  And I saw it happen.  I saw people in dire situations “give their lives to God” and have peace and help in times of trouble. 

Yet, at the same time, I never asked God to “prove that He was real”.  And only recently, I realized it was because I was afraid that I wouldn’t get an answer.  Actually, I *knew* I wouldn’t get an answer. 

So, I’m having to re-evaluate my time as a Christian.  How much was based on fear?  How much was based on faith?  How much was just general naïveté?  How much was my need for connection with something outside of myself?

Since deciding that I’m an atheist, I’ve seen many in that circle who are rather militant about their atheism.  On one hand, I understand their desire to educate the entire world; to “convert” people to rationality.  I won’t be able to be one of them.  I chose to not be a Christian because I didn’t agree with the path of “it’s my job to save the world”.  AND because I find critical thinking, rationality and reasoning way more interesting and uplifting.  I’ll share my views with people who are interested, but I am not on a mission to change their thought patterns.  I’ll give my reasoning and encourage them to look beyond their own little pea brain, but, they will have to come to their own conclusions and convictions.  If they are wrong, irrational and foolish, I can’t control that.  All I can control and be responsible for is my own actions.

When I chose to be an atheist, I realized that THEN I could be “good for goodness sake”.  Not out of love of some unseen entity.  Not out of fear of hell-fire and eternal damnation.  Not out sense of duty or responsibility to a greater reward when I died.  I care for my fellow human beings, for my community, for the world we live in because I want to make a better world for the future.  I want those who come after me to be able to build upon what I have done (not have to tear it all down and start all over.) 

My parents are still Christians.  I don’t try and change their minds or convert them to my view of the world.  At first, I would debate with them about the existence of hell (that was what started my journey into atheism).  And try and get them to see how much better it was to know there wasn’t a hell!  There is no changing their mind.  So, when I took the final step into full-fledged atheism, I knew there would be no discussion with them.  But, I’m okay with that.  I don’t want to change who they are.  They are the two Christians in my life who have CONSISTANTLY lived what they preached: care for others less fortunate, love others, feed the hungry, house the indigent.  I will not insist that their surety of why they do what they do match mine.  They, in their way, are working to make the world a better place. 

Do I wish they would be able to put down the fear that I know is in the back of their mind?  Yes, of course I do.  But, I know that it would change their entire world view and I don’t know how they would handle that.  Imagine the “there’s no Santa” stories if the child believed it for 60+ years and THEN found out?  I will not be that life-shattering person.

Funny thing, to me…I never believed in Santa.  I was 3 and asked my mom if there was a Santa.  She replied, “What do you think?”  I replied, “I think those presents from Santa are from Grandma Lambert.”  She told me I was right and I never believed in Santa.  How is it that I believed in God for so long, though?

I do still think that everything in the universe is connected. 

Do I think there is a benevolent being that watches over us and cares about what happens in our lives?  No.  Do I think that there is a vengeful being that will punish anyone who doesn’t accept his way of continuing life & into the afterlife?  No.  Do I believe that people are gullible?  Yes.  Do I believe that people need some connection with community or “other” outside of themselves?  Yes. 

I do still think that everything in the universe is connected at some level.  I’ve seen too many “miracles” and healings to think that there is NOTHING anywhere. 

But I think there are rational reasons for those things and I look forward to the day they can be explained. 

I may never hear the explanations, but I still anticipate the day that we understand.   

Weekend Ponderings 3/11/12

This is a list of things (ideas, quips, thoughts) that came into my head this past weekend.  They're funny to me!

"This is really memorizing!" (on driving through Vermillion Cliffs area)

Standing on Navajo Bridge, looking at critters in the water:  "Those are too big to be crawdads.  I think they're lobster-dads."

Kevin spit off of the bridge.  We watched it fall to the base of the cliff below.  I said, "Wow.  That took 10 seconds!"  Kevin replied, "Well, it's not very aerodynamic..."

We stopped at the Interesting Rocks that are west of Navajo Bridge.  Kevin walked between two of the large boulders and said, "When do you get an opportunity to squeeze between two giant boulders?"  There was a brief pause and I answered, "Every. Day."

How does a child "know" to color the sun yellow? 

Inconsequentially Essential

Inconsequentially Essential
2/27/12

The Universe is at least 150 billion light-years in diameter. 

The Earth is 4.6 billion years old.

The oldest person in recorded history was 140 years old. 

If the modern person is fortunate, she will live to 90 years old.

Inconsequential.  Massively so. 

If I’m truly inconsequential, what does it matter if I fail?  And if it doesn’t matter, why not go all out, all in, step out past what is expected and be great?  Why not be greater than great?  Why not be the greatest there ever was?  Or massively fail trying to be so.

Inconsequentially unnecessary. 

This place that I inhabit is an infinitesimally inconsequential place of less than a speck of dust.  And while this is true, for this short place in the immense history of what is, doing what is every day, what is mundane, what is common is so minuscule as to be spectacularly unique. 

So, get over yourself.  Get over the, “nothing I do will ever account for anything”.  Get over your petty “this is mine and I’m not sharing”.  Get over your inability and unwillingness to get along with others.  Get over your irritability and stupidity.  Get over your senselessness and hatred of what isn’t understood.  We’re all that each other has.  This moment is all that matters at this vitally negligible point in time, this insignificantly critical spot in space, and this inconsequentially essential being that is me.